You may belong to those who are searching after Mr. or Mrs. Right. You may have tried everything from traditional dating and matchmaking to online dating and blind-dating, but it just didn’t work out. Or you haven’t really dated anyone but hope that the right person will just “come along.” Whatever it is, if you are ready and eager to meet someone with who you can ultimately share your life, below are the TOP NINE dating tips from the “Dating Doctor”.
Why TOP NINE and not TOP TEN? Because every individual and dating process is unique, so I leave out one on purpose so that YOU can add in what you feel is most important in your situation. The Top Nine Dating Advice to Help you Find Love or Rotterdam Elite Companions are here for you.
Consider your position
Think through what kind of person you really would like to meet; qualities, personality traits, values, life goals, and so on. Ensure your expectations are not too high, such as super-rich and at least an MBA degree, etc., even though those things may be a plus. Remember that every person has flaws, so it is not fair to have a “fairytale vision” about the one you want to meet. Aim to meet someone that you can love for who he/she is and that he/she will do the same with you, despite imperfections. As you meet, just be honest and don’t try to untruthfully portray a better picture of yourself than you are.
Don’t let your desire to meet someone be “everything”
Let your life go on as per normal and keep on focusing on things such as career, relationships, exercise, faith, traveling, or whatever it may be. Don’t become “desperate”, but continue to “live life” and be happy. It is easy to think “If only I would meet… then I would be happy…, secure… etc.” For sure, if you find true love, your life will improve a lot, but every solution is not found in meeting someone. Be happy and content while you are waiting. Happy people attract others to themselves, and the opposite is also true…
Be your best and look your best
Don’t become sluggish as months or years passes by. Take good care of your hygiene, hair, and body. Exercise and eat well. Dress properly; even if you are just going to the nearby supermarket. You never know where your Mr. or Mrs. Right may show up. For the majority of men and women, outward appearance is very important; almost as important as inward qualities. Being your best is also essential; reading up on current affairs, dealing with emotional baggage such as insecurities and fear from previous traumatic experiences are important matters. Dealing with one’s character flaws is a good investment to make before you meet your prince/princess. To study about the other gender; how they are wired, what their top needs are and so on is a plus too. Read up on what people in happy marriages focus on. Every person and relationship is unique, but this can help you to learn some “basic stuff” about your soon coming partner and your potential future relationship.
Focus on having fun
Whether you attend singles events or other activities, focus on doing things you like. If you decide to expand your social circle of friends to increase the chances of meeting the love of your life, do things you enjoy. Do you like sports? Canoeing? Painting? Language? Photography? Salsa? Cooking? Traveling? Volunteer work? Sign up for a class, a course, a trip… Whatever it may be, enjoy the activity while you learn to appreciate the opportunity to get to meet and know new people. You just need to step out of your comfort zone. As you do, you will likely meet people that have the same interest as you, and there may be someone there who is a potential candidate for something more.
Be honest with the person you date
Let’s say you met someone and you dated one or two times, and then you feel you want to discontinue, or you may be the one that wants to continue but the other person doesn’t; be honest. It is crucial here, to be frank. If you are afraid of rejecting the other person, you may end up in a long unhealthy relationship and only waste time, and both of you may be hurt even more. If you have a hard time when someone rejects you, you need to work on that, otherwise, it may cause fear in you to date again. Rejection is often part of dating, so handling it properly is of crucial value. Instead of taking it personally, be grateful it happened early in the relationship as it can spare you more hurt the longer it goes. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be.
On top of being honest with the person you date, if it didn’t work out, be honest with yourself. Take some time to reflect on what happened, allow yourself to feel sad, disappointed, or whatever feelings that come up, and then move on, reflecting on what you have learned from the experience. Don’t keep blaming yourself or feel bad about what happened. Remember what Henry Ford once said: “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
Watch out for “risky relationships”
As you are looking for that special someone, it is important to not only “follow your heart” but also to reason in your mind. If from start you think that “this would never last for a long time”, then don’t build further on it. Be observant of your gut feeling. Be attentive to your emotions when you are together with the other person; especially if you feel confused, insecure or afraid. Read more in detail about what kind of persons you should watch out for in the article “Watch out for these eight kinds of persons when dating!” on this website.
Focus and build on relationship standards
What is most important for you in a relationship? Does it roughly match the one you are dating? For any relationship to work, mutual trust is a must. Good communication and respect are other standards that are common. Whatever standards or values you hold dear; share them with one another and start to build that into your relationship. Nothing grows overnight, but with time it can grow deeper and deeper if both parties put in some effort.
Watch out for the emotionally hurt person, where the ability to trust might have been severely damaged by incidents such as abuse, rejection, or death. Here, time is crucial and there may be a need for therapy or counseling to settle this issue; if not, the relationship will be built on fear and insecurity from the partner that has been hurt.
Cultivate your relationship
To go from shallow dating to a deep and committed love relationship where there is trust, unity and genuine happiness, requires hard work. No strong and healthy relationship “just happens”; it is cultivated by time and effort. Just like a plant needs water to grow, a relationship needs watering too. Read more onwww.arelationshipaffair.com/marriage or get the eBook “Improve your relationship in 8 weeks” to learn more about how to invest to build a strong relationship/marriage that can last for a lifetime.
Be prepared to compromise
To build a healthy and harmonious relationship, compromise is crucial. Compromise is about being humble, open, and willing to change. Someone said that “Compromising doesn’t mean that you are wrong and someone is right; it only means that you value your RELATIONSHIP much more than your EGO.” And this is what it is all about. It is not about whether you or your partner wins an argument or has the final say in decision-making; it is about placing the relationship higher than your own opinions and ego.
A harmonious love relationship is desired by the majority, and according to research, a healthy relationship will improve not only your emotional life but also your physical health and overall sense of happiness. So put in some effort to start well from the beginning then the chances are higher that your dating can grow into a beautiful and happy relationship.