In this economic times people tend to work harder and longer to be able to meet the daily needs of their families. You are not excused from this situation. In fact you are among those people working two jobs. You wake up at 5 o’clock in the morning, go to work at 6 A.M. and come home at 6 P.M.
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Tired and stressed, that’s how you feel day after day. When you come home all you want to do is eat your dinner, watch the TV for a few minutes and sleep. You wake up again the following morning and go to work.
WORK, EAT…SLEEP, WORK…that’s your daily routine. Your spouse does the same thing, you don’t even have time to sit down and have a good conversation. Once home she takes care of the dinner, you pick the kids from the day care or their school and help your wife I other house hold chores. You are fully occupied by too many responsibilities from work and home.
At bedtime, both of you just want to rest and doesn’t have the energy to talk. During the week-end, same thing, the children keep you occupied, and when you got the chance to talk, you’re both irritated and oftentimes your conversation becomes ugly.
Both of you want to avoid conflict and your body language suggests it’s better to keep quiet than talk to maintain peace at home. Plus it’s adding your stress when you argue.
Day after day your life becomes a routine. You are worried, life seems boring, no variety, no fun at all. You come to the point of asking yourself, is this sign of what they call a marriage in crisis? Subconsciously, that’s how you see it. You feel the distance between you and your mate is increasing. This bothers you a lot.
If that is the case, follow your instinct and check for other signals that will confirm your marriage is in crisis. You drive to work every day right? And you follow the traffic lights to avoid any road accident. At this point in your relationship, use the traffic signals.
It’s time for you to step on the break and slow down with your daily routine and try to halt on your second job for the meantime. Money is important to sustain your family needs but how can you be productive at work if you’re worried about your marriage. Things will get worse if you don’t stop.
It’s time for you to look for other signals that’s causing your marriage anxieties. You may want to answer the questions to find out the answers.
Do you lack the desire to spend time alone together? Or do you wish to escape away from the kids once in a while and spend your quiet time just the two of you?
Do you regret your marriage? Or do you see any sign of regret towards the marriage from your mate?
Are you still intimate with each other?
If both of you are not tired and stressed, can you still communicate with each other with respect and understanding?
If your answer from the above question is YES…both of you wish to be alone together, no regrets in marriage, still intimate and can communicate with each other lovingly if both are not tired and under pressure.
However if your answer is NO, even if it’s just for the two questions, there is a sign of danger that your marriage is geared towards crisis. You need to talk to your spouse about your observations and share your thoughts and feelings to her.
Your heart will always whisper its’ desires so you need to listen carefully. Once you approach your wife you also need to listen to her. Let your hearts talk and avoid confrontations, blames, or criticisms, or finding faults against each other. Explain the matters of your heart and your desire to solve the problem. Listen to her ideas and suggestions. You need to agree with each other on following a specific solution to the problem.
Ultimately both of you needs to go ahead and start the process of bridging your gaps. Plan your daily schedule and see to it that before you go to bed you spend time reconnecting, cuddle, and be intimate. Give each other a back rub and remove all your stresses. As experts say, there’s a “Magic in Your Touch.”
The warning signs to a marriage in crisis do not always suggest a sad ending. It’s a warning and you must act accordingly to avoid an ugly collision. Follow the traffic signals every day either on the road or in your marriage. This way you maintain safety in your life and marriage.